The modern age is full of so many technological advances. Drones are flying around taking breathtaking pictures. Our phones can do nearly anything we dream of, they practically cook our dinners for us every night and tuck us into bed. So we just have one question.
How is flying still so shit?
Surely there is some way, any way, airlines could make the flying experience at least 1% better.
Here are a few areas we believe could use some improvement.
1. Seat Reclining
Let’s just ban it – remove the button!
Can’t we make all the seats the same, along with making them more comfortable? There’s always that one rude twat on every flight who thinks they are the only one flying. We’re all suffering here, and we should do what we can to make it a better experience for everyone. There is already such little space without the person in front of you reclining their chair.
Solution – Give everyone the same seat at the same recline, and don’t give us the option to change it.
2. Water Availability
Even in the best of circumstances, no one should go hours upon hours without adequate hydration. And airplanes are not even the best circumstances. They are dry, and passengers find themselves thirstier than ever.
So jacking up the prices of microscopic water bottles is a terrible and greedy practice. If the water can’t be free (which it should be, considering how much we pay for flights to begin with), it should at least be reasonable.
Recently we were on a Thai Air Asia X flight from Bangkok to Osaka (5 hours plus), and for a small water bottle we paid 9x what we would have paid on land.
Solution – Just give people some bloody water!
3. Smelly People
I’m currently writing this blog post whilst on a 6 hour flight from Seoul to Bangkok on the dreadful Eastar Jet. It’s two hours in, and I can’t take much more of this man next to me. Why? Because we’re so close to each other, I can’t escape the stench of his breath. I mean you’re on a flight filled with other people, and personal space is nonexistent here. Please brush your teeth beforehand!
Solution – Offer mints or a toothbrush with toothpaste.
Most flights claim to offer WiFi nowadays. As they should, because it’s 2018, the internet is everywhere else, and we all rely on it in so many ways.
But despite these claims, the WiFi very rarely works. We always try, and we’ve only been successfully connected once. That lasted 5 minutes before we were asked to pay a huge fee for another 15 minutes that only came with a handful of limited and slow data.
Solution – Give us reliable and affordable WiFi, please! Don’t advertise what you don’t have.
5. The Middle Seat
Getting stuck in a middle seat can turn an already annoying experience into pure torture. Nobody wants it – nobody can even tolerate it!
Why is it a thing? We can think of several alternatives, such as…
Solutions – Make three rows of two seats. Then everyone will have a window or an aisle. Of course, it would take time to update every plane. In the meantime, shouldn’t the middle seaters get some kind of discount?
There really isn’t much that can compare to a long flight. The discomfort is a unique experience – but surely there are some small ways to provide relief. Softer seats? A head rest? Something to lean on?
Solution – Ideally, let’s go for beds for all passengers on all planes!
7. The Food
There are two types of airplane food: food that is terrible, or food that doesn’t exist. On land, even cheap fast food or frozen dinners can be good. Why haven’t these cooking innovations made it into the sky yet? Is it because there is no competition from other food vendors?
Solution – Make customer satisfaction a bigger priority when creating the in-flight menu.
8. Not being able to pay on card!
On a flight from Melbourne to Bangkok with JetStar, we were offered no free water, no free food, and no free earphones for inflight movies. Of course, all of these are necessities on a flight that is 8+ hours, but when I went to pay they wouldn’t accept my card or the currency I was carrying. It was a very rough flight!
Solution – Planes should be ready to serve at a global level – especially when traveling internationally. This means offering many ways to pay for things like food and water.
9. The Wait
Travel days always have a pattern of “hurry up then wait,” and we understand that – but there is one wait that pains us the most and we’d love to see abolished: the wait to exit the plane upon landing. Why oh why does this always take a million years? It is the last thing you want after a flight, especially the ones totaling up to 15 or so hours. You just want to get up and walk.
Was our arrival a surprise? Did the airport not know we were coming? Couldn’t some preparations be made beforehand to speed this process up?
Solution – Analyze this procedure, whatever it is, and find a way to make it more efficient. Hire people who know how to move quickly and competently.
10. Checking tickets again, and again, and again…
It’s almost comical sometimes how many times our tickets get checked in the 5 minute span between lining up to board the plane and actually buckling up in our seat. Sneaking on the plane seems unlikely at this stage, to be honest. Everyone has already been through security and immigration – surely just one more check before boarding is all that’s necessary. Is this just to give bored staff something else to do?
There have been times we have been checked at the airport exit, two more times in the passageway, at the bottom of the ladder up to the plane, at the top of the ladder, and then a final check as we near the seats. Seems excessive.
Solution – One ticket check is fine!
11. Immigration Lines
Immigration officer must be the worst job in the world, or maybe it has a long list of rare qualifications. Why? Because we’ve never seen a fully staffed team at any airport. No matter how busy the airport or how long the lines stretch, multitudes of empty immigration desks are left empty. WHY?
Solution – Hire more people!
12. The Price
And the icing on the cake is that, despite all the horrible things listed above, air travel is so expensive. It’s probably where the majority of our paychecks go after rent. Since we are paying so much, we’d love to see some of these complaints addressed.
Solution – Free flights for everyone! That’s a reasonable request, right?
The SiDash Plane
We had some fun brainstorming what our dream airline would be like – here’s what you could expect:
On this luxurious plane every passenger would pay a budget rate, be greeted with friendly smiles, and receive a gigantic bottle of water upon entering the plane. They will take to their seats, which would more closely resemble beds, and be given a choice of pillows and blankets! The working WiFi password would in the compartment next to the mini TV and complimentary fruit bowl. Staff will cater to every need and provide on meal on demand!
As you can see, our wishes are simple and no one could accuse us of extravagance in the least.
Now it’s your turn – what are your biggest complaints in the air? What’s the worst airline you’ve ever flown with and why? Let us know!